But unfortunately, that's a very bad idea because by doing that, in the long run your just going to fuck up your life even more then it already may be.
But seriously, sometimes when I'm at home I just want to start pulling my hair out from all the frustration and things that piss me off.
I hate when this happens, I go to school and have a wonderfully fabulous day, like just an all around good day and then... I go home and every single ounce of my good mood goes down the drain never to return.
Who knows the reason? It could be because Artie is screaming at the top of his lungs, or maybe Chuckie is getting in trouble again for leaving his bike out or for eating food in his room. Or maybe because my mom is the being the biggest bitch on the face of the planet. It could be anything honestly.
My life at home makes me LIKE school, that's how aggravating it is to be at home sometimes.
I try to stay out of trouble by staying in my room for as much as possible, but that doesn't work either because then I get in trouble for not socializing with my family... Maybe I don't want to socialize with you guys. My internet and TV are much more entertaining.
What pisses me off the most is that... I'm a good kid. I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, have sex, be a whore, runaway from home, sneak out or anything.
I'm just a tad bit lazy (oookk really lazy but whatever), I talk back from time to time, and my grades could do a little improving, but other then that I swear I am a good kid.
Ok, my room is messy and I'm not always doing the most productive thing, but what freaking teenager is? I just wish they would let me live my life as a kid, while I still can. I'm growing up already and time is going by faster then usual. (Well it feels like it anyway)
I don't want to grow up yet. Just the thought of having to grow up and be on my own, it kind of terrifies me honestly, that's one of the few reasons I still enjoy living in my house.
It's like I want to grow up and have a giant mansion with a swimming pool in my living room and I want to stay home all day and play Guitar Hero, and just have an endless supply of money so I don't have to work, have no worries like paying bills or going in debt, and have like the greatest most nicest, hottest husband around.
As you can tell, I am most definitely dreaming. I realize that none of that is going to happen, but it would be pretty nice huh?
I just don't like to think of the future. It freaks me out. So my new goal is to think of nothing but the present, because I don't want to think of the past because most of that is depressing and I would rather not continually think about it, and the future scares me to no end, so thinking of the present it is.
But the point I was trying to make (I kind of drifted away from the topic I had originally planned oh well) is that I don't enjoy living in my house about 55% percent of the time, yet at the same time I never want to leave it because I don't want to have to face the world all by myself. Yeah I know, i'm confused. =/
So for now I will continue to live in my house, I got about 2-3 years left living here. Hopefully I'll make it that long. Lol.
♥, Katie Crowe
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